My body is a garden
My body is a garden. I no longer hate the curves and crevices and the way it feels to have skin touch my skin. My mountains and rivers are sacred. The fragrance of my spine is a joyful offering to the God who made this woman in me.
No man is allowed to touch me again. You must first wash your hands and make your heart holy in order to enter this garden. I will no longer give into fear, but will joyfully choose who to share my soul with.
I long to start all over again. I know there is no going back, to the land of believing that my skin is vile, impure, bad, or a sex object. I look only forward. Forward I will go knowing that I am safe, protected, and that my body is a holy place, a temple, a green pasture, a place for rest. My body is a garden.
Thoughts on depth and flying
Have some depth, have some soul, and come talk to me. Not about cars, gold, and things you can hold in your hands. Let’s talk about the roots that twist and writhe from within. Where they begin, where they end. Why did they begin? Why did they end? Let’s sit down and try to figure it out together. You know what. Let’s welcome God into the space we are in too. Let him come in between us right in the middle and breathe on our shoulders. You can ask me if I felt Him too. We can hold hands-not for the sake of touching, but so we can feel supported and validated. When I say I want you to KNOW me, I mean that I want you to watch me be myself-I want you to watch me be free. I will do the same for you. I will LOVE you. I will love your dangling roots and will join you in the growing process.
Where are you?
"So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide"
— Meredith Grey (via whilde-daisi)
I need some serious mechanical work done in my heart. I’ve needed that for a while. I think I’m ready to open my rib cage wide and get venerable with myself and with you and put effort into this healing process.
I wondered why I get stuck in the same thoughts. I get caught in something seasonal, the same behaviors, and mindset over and over. Now, once again I have come full circle. Feel like I keep coming back to the same beginnings and endings. I want to be strong, and get rid of whatever is holding me back from knowing God deeper, happiness, and moving forward.
I loved your gentle soul. You were like a violin. Smooth sounds you made. You are the piano, the pure sound. You always were, and you will always be. There were no shades coming from you. You were clear like the ocean. I saw my bottom and my pits through you. I saw the worst in me.
You are like air. I breathed you in. I exhausted you. You were angry for that.
We were so similar-I didn’t see it until now. I am a bird-never meant to be caged. You are oxygen and the wind-intended to rise above.
He wanted to feel wanted too… just like me. He just never said it like that.
I had a dream last night that I was looking up at the sky through your ceiling. At first, there were clouds covering the whole view. Then, finally there was a magnificent break in the clouds. The sky opened up. There were crisp, bright white stars against the dark blue sky. The stars were singing so brilliantly. The dark blue was mysterious and compelling. The stars were pointing to God’s beauty. They took my breath away. I pointed the stars out to you, but you didn’t get it. You couldn’t see why they were so beautiful to me.